Howard McCrary

World Peace Through Inner Peace

Letters from the heart

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I LOVE YOU DAD

Posted on December 6, 2010 at 8:06 PM Comments comments (2)

Good Morning Dad,

Well its been one day and one night since I received the phone call that you departed this life. I am only so glad that in your final days here that night after night I was able to tell you how much you meant to me.

Charity is such and angel.I learned what she was dealing with in those few days what she had to face alone every night.You became her baby Dad.She cared for you like and angelic mother. She knew that even though you couldn't talk to me that I could speak with you. Dad you were a gifted orator and colorful raconteur.So for your ability to communicate I know was your greatest frustration. Where you are now I know you are gloriously disoriented but able to sing and speak, walk and see. I smile at your unspeakable abilities Papa.It was your Mother Leanora who said to you," Because of you... I will live a thousand years!"

Now I understand the magnitude of the legacy of Charles Lindsey McCrary.

Your greatest influence were on your children. Why I remember so many stories of how you disciplined us into being decent kids. You were so wise and patient. I don't steal today for one of the lessons in my life from you. Like when you gave me 30 cents to buy you a pack of Winston's and you knew all I needed was 25c.

Well I thought I deserved that nickel for a tip for such a long trip for an 8 year old. So I helped myself to a candy bar. As I skipped home I just enjoyed my sweet reward until I reached the house. The first thing you asked me as I was gulping down my treasure was, "where is my change?" As beads of sweat began to pop up on my forehead my lips and knees began to tremble. You further asked," what's the matter, 'cat's got your tongue?" Still unable to speak you said," come here boy..."

"Give me my cigarettes and go to your room and wait for me!"

This was my hour of death! I just knew you were going to kill me. I thought well, at least no more school.Goodbye Mom, I was going to give all my toys to Linda and Alfred...but then after 60 minutes of silent torture you walked through the door with your belt in your hand. your stared into my eyes narrowed your view , put your belt on the bed , held me by my shoulders and said, " never ... ever take what doesn't belong to you! Now go on and get out of my sight!"

From that day to this , Dad I have never stolen a or taken what doesn't belong to me.

Another time I remember in North Jr. High School Mr. Tofel spoke to me after gym class and told me that I had a real talent for football and that I had the potential to make it a career. When I shared this with you you calmly explained that it was my choice but when I reach my forties I would have to retire sooner or later from this profession but if I would continue with my music I could decide when it was time for me to retire even if I was in my nineties.

It made sense to me so I stayed with the piano. In fact it was shortly after then you sat me down and taught me my first standard, 'All The Things You Are'.

I didn't know that 300 more songs were to follow by your patient guidance as well as teaching The McCrary five how to sing the great hymns of the church.The Tones of Joy Choral is when we knew you were a choral master.

My whole life as I look back Dad, you were preparing us for life.Ten siblings all with various points of view about life in Youngstown , Ohio. I know many of the choices I have made weren't always the right ones but there were certain rules that you laid down that shaped our personality to do our best to do what is right. I remember when you announced to the family, " In this house you will speak Standard American English!" Many times I have been complimented on being well spoken... because of you. You taught us that real men should respect women and themselves.

You also taught that life have consequences you must accept or results you could create.You encouraged me to study the thoughts and lives of great men and leave the cowards to their own demise. It has only been through meditation that I finally realize what you we telling us. Dad I am sorry that I did not spend more time with you and Mom. In pursuing my dream you never told me to come home, you always welcomed me home. Now you have gone home to receive your reward. I know this is only a time of separation for us. But until I see you again, please help me to hold the answers for my children and their children to all the questions of life they may ask. Let me be as patient , loving and understanding when they don't understand.Most of all let me be forgiving of myself for all the mistakes I have made. If I can be 1/4 of the man you were to me in my life I will still be a giant overlooking the mountains of the world.

Rest Papa and give my love to Mama. Let her know I finally straightened up my life and I am going the right way. After two failed marriages which was my fault for being a knuckle head twice, I have learned my lesson well.The reason why you and Mom made it because you entered into a 'merry age!' A friend once told me that a marriage is like a perfect crystal ball , if you break it , it will never be the same again.Now I will be more careful this third and last time with my marriage and love and be there for all my children and their families as you were for us.

I will meet you in the morning. I love you.

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Your baby boy,

Howard

To : Michael Jackson

Posted on June 25, 2009 at 10:00 PM Comments comments (17)

 LETTERS FROM THE HEART

 

LETTERS FROM THE HEART ARE REAL STORIES THAT HAPPENED TO REAL PEOPLE, I HOPE EVERYONE CAN BENIFIT FROM THEIR EXPENIENCES.

I BELIEVE UNTIL YOU CAN PRACTICE MEDITATION ON A DAILY BASIS, YOU CANNOT BEGIN TO KNOW THE VALUE OF WHAT IT COULD DO FOR YOUR LIFE.

THE PAST IS WHAT IT IS .... THE PAST. WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES AND NOT TO REPEAT THEM.

BEFORE I CAME INTO THE LIGHT AND WISDOM OF MEDITATION, I MADE CERTAIN DECISIONS THAT I STILL AM RESPONSIBLE FOR TODAY.

MY LIFE NOW IS DEDICATED TO THE CAUSE OF WORLD PEACE. I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE I HAD PROBLEMS I COULD NEVER BE A SPOKES PERSON FOR WORLD PEACE. BUT NOW I KNOW THAT BECAUSE OF MY PROBLEMS IS WHY I WAS CHOSEN. I DO MY BEST TO FILL THE REMAINING DAYS OF MY LIFE ON EARTH WITH MERITS AND GOOD DEEDS. THE WORLD IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE WITH PROBLEMS, THIS IS WHY I TRY TO SHARE AT LEAST A SMILE WITH OTHERS EACH DAY.

NOW I AM IN LOVING KINDNESS ADDRESSING MY PAST ACTIONS IN WISDOM AND IN LOVE FOR THE FUTURE.

THANK YOU FOR READING.

 

Dear Michael,

My Daughter Sarah woke me up this morning at 7am to tell me of your passing. I was hoping this was some type of publicity stunt that only you or Houdini could pull off.

I remember the first day we met in the summer of 1979 when my family as on tour with your family. The Jacksons and The McCrarys. Did you know we used to be called The McCrary 5? Oh never mind, long story.

When my sister Charity introduced me to you with my brothers Alfred and Sam at that swanky Texas house party you asked me if I was married and I told you I was separated from my wife and we were going through a divorce. That's when you folded your hands and said, "I will be praying for you." Then you introduced me to your beautiful cousin Jackie and folded your hands again and said, "I'll be praying for you."

10 minutes later you went to the other side of the room and made the praying gesture and smiled as you pointed at your cousin. I remember you doing this two more times before finally saying good night again saying I will be praying for you.

Michael right now I am praying for you. I am praying for you beautiful parents you introduced me to at The Omni Hotel in Los Angeles on your 45th private birthday party the evening your sister Janet asked me to play 'Triste' and her fiancée Mr. Dupree seemed a little upset as she held both my hands to thank me from her heart for 2 or or three full minutes for playing one of her favorite songs. It was so good to see Jackie that night and Tito and Randy too. Latoya was looking so beautiful as well. Every member of your family are so beautiful and gifted. I remember meeting up with Jermaine at Cocscos and as we shopped together we would talk all about you.

Do you remember that Christmas morning at your home in Beverley Hills when you and your children wanted to hear the children sing?

Seth Riggs called me and at your request asked me to arrange a choir of 12 children to sing at your home on Christmas morning.

I called my sister Charity and we contacted 12 of the best singing kids we knew, of course some of them being our own family members.

We had less than 48 hours to rehearse an coordinate this private production before the children got into the limousines from me and Tammy's home from Sherman Oaks to be convoyed to your Beverly Hills Estate.

Seth proudly was there that morning to vocalize all the young ones as I conducted as the children sang with charity accapella, 'Heal The World, Silent Night, Santa Clause Is Coming to Town ( Jackson style)' amongst other songs as they sang on you staircase and you and your children and family sat in that grand foyer combined with the Cathedral like acoustics I could hear additional voices of angels that morning. It was a sacred moment for us all.

As you hugged Charity and I to thank us we did a group hug with Seth and sumptuously enjoyed The Christmas Buffet you prepared for all of us. For these children it was a Christmas dream come true. If any of you children are reading this letter please share what that morning meant to you.

Your children Michael looked like cherubs.You were such a loving father.

Michael I could never understand how could  the press could be so ruthless towards you. You are Michael The Angel.

I will never forget when I had the joy to work with Andre and Sandra Crouch on your Dangerous CD at Westlake Studio and we were recording the background vocals on 'Keep The Faith' and as Andre was conducting we came to an impasse for over 20 minutes until Andre turned to me and said, "Howard fix it!"

So I gave out the parts to the ascending figure of the word 'FAITH' leading to the release and you jumped up and down in the control room saying, "I Love It!"

It was that day you invited me up to the green room with my son Darius who was 12 years old at that time .He was part of a new TV sitcom called Family Matters and you told him, "I hear you have been hanging out with Bobby Brown, he is not a good influence. Here take my number and call me anytime. If you need someone to talk to or spend time with, I'll be there. The only thing is when you call don't ask for me or they won't put you through, ask for Norma Jean, it's the code name."

For the rest of that day at West Lake Studios he spent with you and was in heaven.

All the way home he held your private phone number in his hands aglow and raving about his new awesome friend.

As soon as we got home he asked if he could call you and I said yes of course.

So very excitedly Darius dialed the number and ask for Michael...click! Then he remembered the code name, called back and asked for Norma Jean...click!

Even still to this day he talks about that wonderful day he spent with you at the studio and learned the lesson of how important it is to follow instructions.

Once again and lastly when you went to trial in Santa Barbara and it seemed like the whole world turned their backs on you at another session producer Bruce Swedien pulled my sister Linda and I to the side and said,

"Howard and Linda , don't believe The Press. Michael is an angel... he would never hurt the children."

I never stopped believing in you or the pure soul that you are. I remember when you thanked my sister Charity and I for bringing 10 busloads of ministers and some of their members to support you during your trial at The Santa Barbara Courthouse. We had singers singing on behalf of you innocence and ministers interceding on your behalf for justice.

Thank you for graciously hosting all of us at Neverland not once but twice as we came to show you how much we loved you and believed in your innocence.

It is an outrage what some people will do for money. Greed, Delusion, and Anger is something you wanted to see our world healed of. Michael it's not too late. I know there are others like myself who believe in your dream that we can have a better world if we only Keep The Faith.

As I began writing this letter the sun was shining in Hong Kong and now as I close we are in a Typhoon...strange but Michael...I am not surprised you were always bigger than life and now we know that you are.

You and your music, your smile, your dance, but most of all your message will live in our hearts forever.

You not only are 'The King of Pop', you are also...'The King of Hearts'

We Love You Michael !

 

 

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with love,

Howard

To Darius, Donovan and Sarah

Posted on February 1, 2009 at 1:53 PM Comments comments (4)

  LETTERS FROM THE HEART

LETTERS FROM THE HEART ARE REAL STORIES THAT HAPPENED TO REAL PEOPLE, I HOPE EVERYONE CAN BENIFIT FROM THEIR EXPENIENCES. 

 

I BELIEVE UNTIL YOU CAN PRACTICE MEDITATION ON A DAILY BASIS, YOU CANNOT BEGIN TO KNOW THE VALUE OF WHAT IT COULD DO FOR YOUR LIFE.

THE PAST IS WHAT IT IS .... THE PAST. WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES AND NOT TO REPEAT THEM.

BEFORE I CAME INTO THE LIGHT AND WISDOM OF MEDITATION, I MADE CERTAIN DECISIONS THAT I STILL AM RESPONSIBLE FOR TODAY.

MY LIFE NOW IS DEDICATED TO THE CAUSE OF WORLD PEACE. I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE I HAD PROBLEMS I COULD NEVER BE A SPOKES PERSON FOR WORLD PEACE. BUT NOW I KNOW THAT BECAUSE OF MY PROBLEMS IS WHY I WAS CHOSEN. I DO MY BEST TO FILL THE REMAINING DAYS OF MY LIFE ON EARTH WITH MERITS AND GOOD DEEDS. THE WORLD IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE WITH PROBLEMS, THIS IS WHY I TRY TO SHARE AT LEAST A SMILE WITH OTHERS EACH DAY.

NOW I AM IN LOVING KINDNESS ADDRESSING MY PAST ACTIONS IN WISDOM AND IN LOVE FOR THE FUTURE.

THANK YOU FOR READING.

 

 

 

To Darius, Donovan, and Sarah,

I feel it is time for the three of you to know the truth about your father. If it doesn't come from me your getting second hand. This straight from "The horse's mouth! "

I wish with all of my heart that I knew then when you were little what I know now. Things would be quite different today for sure. When I was a yound man, I thought I had all the time in the world. I had a wonderful wife in my life and didn't know it. Sylvia and Clarence Turner reared a princess but I couldn't appreciate or value her special gifts and qualities.

Because now I have a better understanding of words like, principals, ethics, honor, integrity, karma, trust, loyalty, honesty, face, self respect, right view, right speech, right intention, right effort, right morality, wholesomeness, prudence, acceptance, purity, personal values, boundaries, reliability, benevolence, altruism, patience, commitment, meditation, duty, sacrifice, perfection and Universal Love, my life is now on a path that I never dreamed possible.

Now that the end of my days are more clearly coming into view these words much more meaningful to my life.

I apologize to each of you for not being as wise a father as I could have been had I known then what I know now.

I cannot undo the past but I can alter the direction of the rest of my life by what I do today.

I want to share with you a secret that I never knew.

If you would consider embracing five principals now then you can live the rest of your life without the suffering I endured and created......

They are these:

 

1. Do not kill.

2. Do not steal.

3. Do not commit adultery.

4. Do not lie.

5. No alcohol or any intoxicants. 

The last one is the most important because under the influence any of the other four could be jeopardized.

Any one of these Five broken brings suffering with keeping these principals daily it makes us 100% human. Breaking anyone of these takes away 20% of being human and makes us 20% of animal.

If you will kill another, or one's dreams or an animal, obviously this is the most this is the most extreme.

The Law of Karma is set into motion by the consequences of killing. Don't kill anything.

If a human being will steal, he is 20% less human or if he will lie his words are meaningless and harmful fidelity is a karmac issue. You must remain faithful to your spouse no matter what.

The breaking of these will bring and perpetuate suffering.

I want you to live lives free from suffering. This is the best way I can help you.

Then there is meditation. This practice is so very important, to still your mind daily for just a few moments as you softly close your eyes and relax, focus your mind at the center of your body, look at the soothing bright sun within, you will find true happiness which nothing can compare. 

There is a pure, perfect, and more beautiful you inside the center of your body that you must be still and quiet to experience.

I could not be more proud to be the father of my three beautiful, amazing, gifted, magnificent, and wise adult children with these simple truth I want your lives to be better than mine was.

These things will create merit for you and your families.

Where these is no merit, there is misfortune. I never knew this, now I do.

The only other principal I could add to this is give to others in need and who are deserving of your generosity.

I want to close in saying that I have always loved you and I will until my dying day. I only wish for you to be happy with your lives and your choices.

I am giving you information that works. Please pass it on to your children and maybe one day when they read this letter they will know how much I love you and still want the very best for you.

 

With all my heart and eternal love,

 

Dad

 

 

To My Teacher

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 10:55 PM Comments comments (1)

 LETTERS FROM THE HEART 

LETTERS FROM THE HEART ARE REAL STORIES THAT HAPPENED TO REAL PEOPLE, I HOPE EVERYONE CAN BENIFIT FROM THEIR EXPENIENCES. 

 

I BELIEVE UNTIL YOU CAN PRACTICE MEDITATION ON A DAILY BASIS, YOU CANNOT BEGIN TO KNOW THE VALUE OF WHAT IT COULD DO FOR YOUR LIFE.

 

THE PAST IS WHAT IT IS .... THE PAST. WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES AND NOT TO REPEAT THEM.

 

BEFORE I CAME INTO THE LIGHT AND WISDOM OF MEDITATION, I MADE CERTAIN DECISIONS THAT I STILL AM RESPONSIBLE FOR TODAY.

 

MY LIFE NOW IS DEDICATED TO THE CAUSE OF WORLD PEACE. I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE I HAD PROBLEMS I COULD NEVER BE A SPOKES PERSON FOR WORLD PEACE. BUT NOW I KNOW THAT BECAUSE OF MY PROBLEMS IS WHY I WAS CHOSEN. I DO MY BEST TO FILL THE REMAINING DAYS OF MY LIFE ON EARTH WITH MERITS AND GOOD DEEDS. THE WORLD IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE WITH PROBLEMS, THIS IS WHY I TRY TO SHARE AT LEAST A SMILE WITH OTHERS EACH DAY.

 

NOW I AM IN LOVING KINDNESS ADDRESSING MY PAST ACTIONS IN WISDOM AND IN LOVE FOR THE FUTURE.

 

THANK YOU FOR READING.

 

                     

Dearest Venerable Luang Phor Dhammjayo,

I write this letter to you from the depths of my heart. Since the day that we met you never judged me. Even before we met, Her Serene Royal Highness Princess M.L.Rajadarasi (Mom) told me so many wonderful things about you that I was quite nervous at meeting you. She showed me breathtaking pictures of The Dhammakaya Temple and about The Telly Award winning Television Network DMC,all the relief work you have done for families affected by tragedy's like The Tsunami floods ,and all of your World Peace awards.But most of all I was getting ready to meet one of the kindest and wisest men in all the world whose whole life is about meditation and teaching others to meditate.

Honestly years ago my brief encounter with Transcendental Meditation was something I did with my wife at that time for a few minutes a day for several weeks.Maybe it was my Christian background or my own negligence but the interest wasn't there for me strong enough for me to continue.

Mom shared with me that through meditation you become brighter and more knowledgeable. So the longer and more consistent you are , the more brighter and full of knowledge you become.

I was amazed at when I met you you told me of the time when I was 7 years old and I heard the voice that spoke to me and told me that I was going to be used as one of the instruments to help bring World Peace. You already knew that I was a Christian and embraced me a your Christian family member. You went on to further explain that meditation is something that is for everyone regardless of their race, creed , color , or origin. I remembering you also saying that war is very costly but it cost nothing to meditate.Also that the day everyone finds the inner peace of meditation is when we will have World Peace.

As a Christian Luang Phor I am familiar with the practice of prayer. I pray everyday. Even at The United Nations we have had a day of prayer on Sep 21 since 1981 for World Peace.Not much has changed since then. We still have wars, hunger, greed ,  violence and hatred. So then it came to me According to The Bible that prayer is only half of the spiritual dialog.King David said," Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight .Oh Lord My strength and my Redeemer.So meditation is about observing and listening.How can one have spiritual dialog and only speak and not listen.Now I understand that I need both to express as well as listen.

Realizing that prayer is where you make your supplication and meditation is where you listen for your answer.Meditation brings inner peace and we must first have inner peace before we can have World Peace. Now I embrace my Buddhist family and invite my Christians family and Jewish, Islamic, Hindu and all religious families of all faiths to meditate for World Peace.For Luang Phor as you say,"We are all but one family and live under the same sun."

Luang Phor , I have so much to learn and I thank you for being my Teacher. You are so young yet because of your wisdom you have become like a father to me. Never judging me because of my problems and all the mistakes I have made but patiently knowing that through meditation I would become a better person. I remember when we first met you lovingly told me," You must become refined through meditation". Now I find myself meditating most times two hours daily. I have now also been meditating for the past 2 years consistantly everyday of my life and it has changed me in the most wonderful way.

Just as I need food to feed my body, I now need meditation for my soul. My vision is brighter, I find myself more understanding and patient with everyone. I am facing my past mistakes by being responsible for my future, yet I no longer live in the past. I now am able to greet humanity with a smile of love from my heart.I want everyone to know about the joy of meditation so much that I feel as you do Luang Phor, " I will not rest until every living soul has seen the sun of peace inside."

It has also in my greatest honor to have the privilege to write music to your profound words of wisdom and guidance on how to meditate and the joy of meditation.

My life as yours is now about World Peace through meditation.

Thank you Luang Phor and allowing this Christian brother to join with you in your vision for a world filled with love,joy, happiness, wisdom and inner peace through meditation.

Respectfully,

Howard McCrary

A message to Brother Man Isaac Hayes

Posted on August 18, 2008 at 12:54 PM Comments comments (1)


 LETTERS FROM THE HEART 

LETTERS FROM THE HEART ARE REAL STORIES THAT HAPPENED TO REAL PEOPLE, I HOPE EVERYONE CAN BENIFIT FROM THEIR EXPENIENCES. 

 

I BELIEVE UNTIL YOU CAN PRACTICE MEDITATION ON A DAILY BASIS, YOU CANNOT BEGIN TO KNOW THE VALUE OF WHAT IT COULD DO FOR YOUR LIFE.

 

THE PAST IS WHAT IT IS .... THE PAST. WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES AND NOT TO REPEAT THEM.

 

BEFORE I CAME INTO THE LIGHT AND WISDOM OF MEDITATION, I MADE CERTAIN DECISIONS THAT I STILL AM RESPONSIBLE FOR TODAY.

 

MY LIFE NOW IS DEDICATED TO THE CAUSE OF WORLD PEACE. I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE I HAD PROBLEMS I COULD NEVER BE A SPOKES PERSON FOR WORLD PEACE. BUT NOW I KNOW THAT BECAUSE OF MY PROBLEMS IS WHY I WAS CHOSEN. I DO MY BEST TO FILL THE REMAINING DAYS OF MY LIFE ON EARTH WITH MERITS AND GOOD DEEDS. THE WORLD IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE WITH PROBLEMS, THIS IS WHY I TRY TO SHARE AT LEAST A SMILE WITH OTHERS EACH DAY.

 

NOW I AM IN LOVING KINDNESS ADDRESSING MY PAST ACTIONS IN WISDOM AND IN LOVE FOR THE FUTURE.

 

THANK YOU FOR READING.

A Message to Brother Man Isaac Hayes

When you sang the song "Never Can Say Goodbye", I never thought I would never have the chance to say goodbye to you. When Rev. Alfreddie Johnson told me that you wanted me to sing at your wedding I couldn't believe it! Man you were so GQ that day overlooking sunny L.A. on the rooftop of The Celebrity Centre and your wife beautiful beyond words to describe.I was so happy for you and so honored at the same time. Nobody could sing "Night and Day" like you and it was my pleasure to accompany you on the piano everytime you sang it. You had a way of taking a song and making seem like it was the first time anyone had ever heard it!

Most of all I remember how generous and selfless you were. You made everyone feel as though they were the last human being on earth. As you have touched my life , I am sure that my story is just one of many yet to me you mad me feel as though I was really your brother. Only Mr. Isaac Hayes could do this so lovingly in his lifetime and through his music.

Thank you for the time,inspiration, and the love my brother.I know I will see you again soon. I know where you are there are no tears.Thank you for teaching me that everyone is important and matters ... even me.

Good Night Brother Isaac "I Will Meet You In The Morning".

Peace,

Howard McCrary

To mother

Posted on August 11, 2008 at 12:14 AM Comments comments (1)

 LETTERS FROM THE HEART 

LETTERS FROM THE HEART ARE REAL STORIES THAT HAPPENED TO REAL PEOPLE, I HOPE EVERYONE CAN BENIFIT FROM THEIR EXPENIENCES. 

 

I BELIEVE UNTIL YOU CAN PRACTICE MEDITATION ON A DAILY BASIS, YOU CANNOT BEGIN TO KNOW THE VALUE OF WHAT IT COULD DO FOR YOUR LIFE.

 

THE PAST IS WHAT IT IS .... THE PAST. WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES AND NOT TO REPEAT THEM.

 

BEFORE I CAME INTO THE LIGHT AND WISDOM OF MEDITATION, I MADE CERTAIN DECISIONS THAT I STILL AM RESPONSIBLE FOR TODAY.

 

MY LIFE NOW IS DEDICATED TO THE CAUSE OF WORLD PEACE. I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE I HAD PROBLEMS I COULD NEVER BE A SPOKES PERSON FOR WORLD PEACE. BUT NOW I KNOW THAT BECAUSE OF MY PROBLEMS IS WHY I WAS CHOSEN. I DO MY BEST TO FILL THE REMAINING DAYS OF MY LIFE ON EARTH WITH MERITS AND GOOD DEEDS. THE WORLD IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE WITH PROBLEMS, THIS IS WHY I TRY TO SHARE AT LEAST A SMILE WITH OTHERS EACH DAY.

 

NOW I AM IN LOVING KINDNESS ADDRESSING MY PAST ACTIONS IN WISDOM AND IN LOVE FOR THE FUTURE.

 

THANK YOU FOR READING.

Dear Mother,

If Charity would be so kind to read this to you it would mean the world to me.

I am writing this letter to you to say thank you for everything you have given me that prepared me for life.

Thank you for life itself and a chance to greet everyday with a smile because I have a new opportunity to make a difference in someone's life.

I remember when you gave me my first birthday party. I was one and Linda wasn't born yet. I remember I couldn't walk feeling attached to the linoleum floor admiring the white Dogwood flower pattern of green , white and brown stem. I remember a pretty white lady with red hair and her husband and son. Now I know their names as Ms. Helen and Bill Dizdaw and their son Pudgy. I remember the one candle on the cake and receiving my first toy a yellow helicopter.

Thank you for forgiving Linda and I when I was 3 and she was 2 for stealing the car to go shopping. We made it to the bottom of the hill on Hezlip Street in Youngstown,Ohio.

Or the time Linda and I took a pound of butter to transform your kitchen floor into an ice rink on Glenwood Avenue.

I remember when the soldiers handed you the folded American flag at my brother Leon's service after he was killed coming home for Christmas after bootcamp. I remember how brave you were for all of us.

I remember your father George Washington Bryant living with us and sharing his Juicey Fruit gum with Linda, Charity and I.

I remember the first song we ever wrote together when I was 7. " now the day is almost past night will come at last, we will have a new day beyond the sky."

How you and Dad suffered through my hours of piano practice. I remember practicing as long as 8 hours uninterrupted at times and you never once complained.

I remember the day just before my 12th birthday when you took my hands and prayed a prayer of dedication that God would bless my hands to save souls and bring glory to The Lord!

I remember the next morning waking up to play the piano understanding music in theory as never before. Mama it was a miracle. To this day I play with the same knowledge that came to me after you prayed for me.

Mom thank you for marrying Dad. You married a man that you knew I would want to be like. A pianist, singer, and choral master.

Mom I remember when you were there at St. Elizabeth Hospital when I was 14, Dr. Abdul was coming to tell you that I was dead from the poison from my ruptured appendix. I was told later that you cried out to God to bring your baby boy back. All I remember was walking toward a bright light that looked a mile high then I woke up in the recovery room.

You never gave up on me.Even when I was traveling on the road with Sam, Alfred, Charity and Linda your prayers took us from The Ted Mack Amateur Hour to The Kathryn Kuhlman Services, across America and Canada , to Los Angeles.

This is where destiny lead us to move from Youngstown.My home town is always in my heart. Rev. David Versillies, Ms. Johnny Mae, Mr. Jones  and The Abraham brothers, The Robinsons, The Mcelroys, The Lynchs, The Davis family, The Smiths and The Bentons along with all my beautiful cousins I loved Tommy, Louie, Gina, Billie, Marice, and Barbara and Charles and every blessed relative that filled The Stanbaugh Auditorium for our family reunion that Charity organized in 88'.

LA a new world. You and Dad moved out here with Aunt Bay and Uncle Walter,cousin Marcus and Aunt Zelma and Uncle Willis,Ruddy and Gerry and Uncle Buddy and Aunt Julia,Alvin and Bertha Lou. Now Lue Alfred and Charles, and their kids Jack, Joe Richard, Sam, Flattop, Alfred, Charity, Linda and me were here.

Mom you were there when I received my first Grammy nomination, when I first married Chaye and Darius , Donovan, and Sarah were born.You wee there when I went on tour with The McCrary?s with The Jackson?s. You were there when I went through my first divorce and my second marriage to Tammy and again you were there when Tallon and Tyler were born and for my 40th birthday present you gave me the gift of you and Dad singing and playing on my personal family CD that Tammy produced for me.

 

Mom you were there for me until I went on tour in Asia. With every phone call home you spoke to me less and less now when I call Charity tells me you move your eyes in response to my voice. Mom I know you have been diagnosed with dementia now but the memories of you are still there in my heart . From the times you would walk us to school in the snow with pieces of cardboard in the bottom of your shoes right to today as you sit in your easy chair silently watching TBN at Charity's.

 

Mom I am so blessed to still have you. You are now 88 years young and I am so sorry you just lost your last brother Uncle Buddy but I know he is smiling while I am writing this letter to his baby sister.

 

Mom if you can hear and understand these words I write to you now , please know from my heart that ?I Love You.

 

Thank you mama.

 

With love. Your baby boy,

 

Howard


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