Howard McCrary

World Peace Through Inner Peace

Letters from the heart

To mother

Posted on August 11, 2008 at 12:14 AM

 LETTERS FROM THE HEART 

LETTERS FROM THE HEART ARE REAL STORIES THAT HAPPENED TO REAL PEOPLE, I HOPE EVERYONE CAN BENIFIT FROM THEIR EXPENIENCES. 

 

I BELIEVE UNTIL YOU CAN PRACTICE MEDITATION ON A DAILY BASIS, YOU CANNOT BEGIN TO KNOW THE VALUE OF WHAT IT COULD DO FOR YOUR LIFE.

 

THE PAST IS WHAT IT IS .... THE PAST. WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES AND NOT TO REPEAT THEM.

 

BEFORE I CAME INTO THE LIGHT AND WISDOM OF MEDITATION, I MADE CERTAIN DECISIONS THAT I STILL AM RESPONSIBLE FOR TODAY.

 

MY LIFE NOW IS DEDICATED TO THE CAUSE OF WORLD PEACE. I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE I HAD PROBLEMS I COULD NEVER BE A SPOKES PERSON FOR WORLD PEACE. BUT NOW I KNOW THAT BECAUSE OF MY PROBLEMS IS WHY I WAS CHOSEN. I DO MY BEST TO FILL THE REMAINING DAYS OF MY LIFE ON EARTH WITH MERITS AND GOOD DEEDS. THE WORLD IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE WITH PROBLEMS, THIS IS WHY I TRY TO SHARE AT LEAST A SMILE WITH OTHERS EACH DAY.

 

NOW I AM IN LOVING KINDNESS ADDRESSING MY PAST ACTIONS IN WISDOM AND IN LOVE FOR THE FUTURE.

 

THANK YOU FOR READING.

Dear Mother,

If Charity would be so kind to read this to you it would mean the world to me.

I am writing this letter to you to say thank you for everything you have given me that prepared me for life.

Thank you for life itself and a chance to greet everyday with a smile because I have a new opportunity to make a difference in someone's life.

I remember when you gave me my first birthday party. I was one and Linda wasn't born yet. I remember I couldn't walk feeling attached to the linoleum floor admiring the white Dogwood flower pattern of green , white and brown stem. I remember a pretty white lady with red hair and her husband and son. Now I know their names as Ms. Helen and Bill Dizdaw and their son Pudgy. I remember the one candle on the cake and receiving my first toy a yellow helicopter.

Thank you for forgiving Linda and I when I was 3 and she was 2 for stealing the car to go shopping. We made it to the bottom of the hill on Hezlip Street in Youngstown,Ohio.

Or the time Linda and I took a pound of butter to transform your kitchen floor into an ice rink on Glenwood Avenue.

I remember when the soldiers handed you the folded American flag at my brother Leon's service after he was killed coming home for Christmas after bootcamp. I remember how brave you were for all of us.

I remember your father George Washington Bryant living with us and sharing his Juicey Fruit gum with Linda, Charity and I.

I remember the first song we ever wrote together when I was 7. " now the day is almost past night will come at last, we will have a new day beyond the sky."

How you and Dad suffered through my hours of piano practice. I remember practicing as long as 8 hours uninterrupted at times and you never once complained.

I remember the day just before my 12th birthday when you took my hands and prayed a prayer of dedication that God would bless my hands to save souls and bring glory to The Lord!

I remember the next morning waking up to play the piano understanding music in theory as never before. Mama it was a miracle. To this day I play with the same knowledge that came to me after you prayed for me.

Mom thank you for marrying Dad. You married a man that you knew I would want to be like. A pianist, singer, and choral master.

Mom I remember when you were there at St. Elizabeth Hospital when I was 14, Dr. Abdul was coming to tell you that I was dead from the poison from my ruptured appendix. I was told later that you cried out to God to bring your baby boy back. All I remember was walking toward a bright light that looked a mile high then I woke up in the recovery room.

You never gave up on me.Even when I was traveling on the road with Sam, Alfred, Charity and Linda your prayers took us from The Ted Mack Amateur Hour to The Kathryn Kuhlman Services, across America and Canada , to Los Angeles.

This is where destiny lead us to move from Youngstown.My home town is always in my heart. Rev. David Versillies, Ms. Johnny Mae, Mr. Jones  and The Abraham brothers, The Robinsons, The Mcelroys, The Lynchs, The Davis family, The Smiths and The Bentons along with all my beautiful cousins I loved Tommy, Louie, Gina, Billie, Marice, and Barbara and Charles and every blessed relative that filled The Stanbaugh Auditorium for our family reunion that Charity organized in 88'.

LA a new world. You and Dad moved out here with Aunt Bay and Uncle Walter,cousin Marcus and Aunt Zelma and Uncle Willis,Ruddy and Gerry and Uncle Buddy and Aunt Julia,Alvin and Bertha Lou. Now Lue Alfred and Charles, and their kids Jack, Joe Richard, Sam, Flattop, Alfred, Charity, Linda and me were here.

Mom you were there when I received my first Grammy nomination, when I first married Chaye and Darius , Donovan, and Sarah were born.You wee there when I went on tour with The McCrary?s with The Jackson?s. You were there when I went through my first divorce and my second marriage to Tammy and again you were there when Tallon and Tyler were born and for my 40th birthday present you gave me the gift of you and Dad singing and playing on my personal family CD that Tammy produced for me.

 

Mom you were there for me until I went on tour in Asia. With every phone call home you spoke to me less and less now when I call Charity tells me you move your eyes in response to my voice. Mom I know you have been diagnosed with dementia now but the memories of you are still there in my heart . From the times you would walk us to school in the snow with pieces of cardboard in the bottom of your shoes right to today as you sit in your easy chair silently watching TBN at Charity's.

 

Mom I am so blessed to still have you. You are now 88 years young and I am so sorry you just lost your last brother Uncle Buddy but I know he is smiling while I am writing this letter to his baby sister.

 

Mom if you can hear and understand these words I write to you now , please know from my heart that ?I Love You.

 

Thank you mama.

 

With love. Your baby boy,

 

Howard

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1 Comment

Reply kimm Hurley-smith
1:29 PM on March 7, 2010 
Howard,
your are amazing! What a gift to yourself, the memories that remain so present in the moment. The kindness you expressed for all the small gifta along the way.
thank you for lettingme be a part of your family joy and healing....
your sister friend
Kimm